Tuesday, November 24, 2009

INTERN BLOG: Indie Hipsters (Or Why I Dont Fit In)

Currently Enjoying: Andy Gullahorn, Drew Holcomb, Mat Kearney, Jars of Clay

I am not an indie hipster. In fact, I am not really hip or in style at all. There are many reasons for this fact. The first and perhaps foremost is my fashion sense. Believe it or not, I actually like the hipster vibe (although I don't think I will ever think skinny jeans for guys is a good choice) but I am simply too cheap to buy new clothes to fit that vibe. And, though I am not fat (or at least I dont think I am), I am not skinny or muscular enough to wear tight shirts and jeans. Perhaps I am just not confident enough to pull it off, but it just doesnt feel like me, it feels like a fake me, a show. My musical tastes also don't fit the hipster bill. At first blush, it may seem like I could fit in; I like a lot of the music Relevant likes, I think fun. is a great band, I enjoy creative hip-hop like QTip, and I know a hecka lot of good (but unknown) musicians. But then again, I am also currently listening to the new Casting Crowns, think the latest Steven Curtis Chapman is one of his best, and I own a lot of country cd's. That is an immediate disqualification.

I dont fit in with indie hipsters. I don't fit in with the gospel choir I sang with in college, the jocks I played with in high school, the church people I hang with currently, my frat boy college roommates, or really any other social cast that I have been around in the past few years. It has been something I have felt all my life. In high school I was on the football team but hung out with the God-squad (my sweet Bible study filled with my best friends). I didn't really fit in perfectly to either. In college, I was involved with Campus Crusade but also hung out with a lot of people who really weren't big fans of Christianity (read most of my dorm-mates). I wanted to fit in everywhere and found out I didn't really fit in anywhere. Post college was Rome, Italy and Agape Italia; though I found a family in this group, I also struggled frequently with inferiority issues. And around my Italian friends, I was often the Protestant among the Catholics, the American among the Italians, the outsider.

I think it is something I need to get used to. This desire to fit in isn't a bad thing; God created us to live in community. I am pretty convinced that the feeling that I don't fit in completely is also not a bad thing; to quote an old hymn, "This world is not my home, I'm just a passin' through." The writer in Hebrews 11:13-16 says, talking about some All-Stars of the Old Testament, that "All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own.If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country--a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them." I want my attitude to reflect theirs. Instead of getting bitter, to look forward to the Heavenly country. I think if I do, I will be able to live better here on earth.

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