Why I Want to Grow Up

Today on RelevantMagazine.com, they published an article I wrote entitled Growing Up Is Harder Than Ever, which was my ode to feeling, well, actually not feeling grown-up. Prompting this is my sometimes present inferiority complex, the need to feel that I have arrived and am worth something. I know that is a big statement to make, I know I am worth something, but honestly, if you are 24 and working as an unpaid intern and living for free at your friends parents house (they are fantastic, by the way), it is hard to feel grown-up.

Does anybody else feel this? This inane or perhaps quite necessary need to feel grown-up? My girlfriend is quick to tell me I am, that I need to consider myself as an adult because I am one, but sometimes that is hard when I am at the bottom of the totem pole in both my jobs. And the job that pays my bills is part time at a mini-golf place (Congo River is sweet thought). Last year it was a lot easier to feel grown-up when I was living overseas and in charge of two teams of people, leading out into something significant.

Which is I think where this all boils down to; significance. Sure, there are a LOT of things that help one mature and grow up (responsibility being primary) but for me, the issue is where I find my significance. I have made strides to be responsible, to pay my bills, to take responsibility for my actions and their consequences, but what I need to do in the end is find my significance in God. Because jobs will change, economic situations will change, relationships will change, responsibilities will change, even physical abilities will change. But my relationship with God is a constant and something that is true. It is where I need to find my hope and significance, that I am a child of God, not because I do or don't run a company. Which is good, because right now I am far away from even pulling in a reasonable paycheck.

To read the article, if you haven't already, CLICK HERE